The All New Mallory Pike( a.k.a Goodbye, Mallory)

Man, does this book say it all. Mallory even looks like she's had it rough. Plus this is proof that Ann M Martin can't stand Mallory's ass. Look at the cover for instance

on the cover: Mallory looks as if going to Riverbend School might be a bad choice and seems pouty about it. Did i add that Riverbend, Massachusetts looks like a great place to go, and that i like Mallory's outfit for that cover. It really looks great on her.

My Memory Analysis: I remember how much i wanted to read this book so badly as a kid. The library where i went to stopped selling the bsc around book 50, but ive always wanted to read about what happens to mallory, since i kinda like Mallory Pike, though her whining and annoyance drives me up to a point where i practically wanted to slap Mallory for being such a pain in the ass. I gotta say im glad ive read the book. Mallory really does grow up and i even like hearing more about her adventures in Riverbend, particularly the whole Alexis thing, and her new pals Jen, Smita, and Sarah. I wish Ann would write a series based on Mallory's Adventures, but that's not going to happen since its obvious that Ann cant stand Mallory, and that the series ended before Mallory could even have a chance to gain much more satisfied fans. *sigh* Stupid Ann Martin for destroying Mallory's character.

It all Begins when Mallory Pike gets ready to leave from Stoneybrook after having such a horrible time in school and being treated like a freak, especially during the "Spaz Girl" incident, which happened when Mallory signed up to teach for a literature class, but she gets assigned to the 8th graders, who like to give teachers a hard time and really act like immature babies. Anyways, Mallory gets ready to leave and she starts fantasizing about life would be like without her with her family, her friends in the Bsc, the clients, and kids at school.

Then Mallory starts writing in her journal about how her life is about to change, how she can't wait to start fresh in a whole new surroundings and at a brand new school, what Riverbend,Massachusetts will be like to her, who will look after her family and friends now that she will be so far away from them all, especially Jessi, and what to expect in the future to come.

(For a person who is about to put her past life behind, you sure are doing a lot of worrying Mallory pike. Besides you are much better off without Stoneybrook. Who needs that rascist, snobby town anyways. You are much better off indeed Mallory Pike.)

But before Mallory leaves, Kristy honors Mallory Pike in the club as a official honorary member. Like Dawn, she doesnt have to pay club dues, and can come to meetings only if she feels like it, or if she's visiting town, Which sounds pretty good to me. Sign me up anytime. I like that position. That and the associate member spot too. Lucky Mallory. Im so envious of you Mal.

Then Kristy and the gang reminiscense about how they tried to make Mallory take that awful test just to join the club, which i could say, was indeed ridiculous and pointless. But ill never forget the outfit that Mallory wore to the club meeting at that time. I was practically laughing my ass off at that one. (if you wanna read more about the awful club meeting scene and on Mallory's embarrassing outfit, read Book 14: Hello, Mallory!)

Then Kristy and the girls also remember how Mallory helped the Arnold twins, Marilyn and Carolyn, become well behaved and gain their independence, which they did thanks to Mallory(Even though Mallory's the one who flippin caused it in the first place.) Read Book 21: Mallory and the trouble with twins if you want to see the Arnold twins first appearance in that book.

Then they also remember how Mallory had helped Buddy Barrett improve on his reading, with the help of comic books ( Book 29: Mallory and the Mystery Diary if would want to read more about that scene.).

Then they also remember all those good trips to California, New York, as well as Sea City. Which Stacey also recalls how Mallory stood up to that two timing jerk, Toby and how Mallory eventually realizes that Ben is the one for her and soon leaves Toby's sorry ass. (Boy was Stacey such a bitch in that one. That girl was horrible to Mallory. But the book is good though.)

When Mallory leaves to go home after the farewell Bsc tour thing, she comes home to find Kristy and the gang hanging around her house and throwing her a surprise party in her honor, which has Mallory in tears( and me becoming very jealous of Mallory.)

After all the hugging and crying and promises to write letters and email and stuff, Mallory finally leaves for Riverbend, Massachusetts and basically starts her new life now, moving away from the Babysitters Club and all. (im really liking this new Mallory Pike so far.)

The school is like an all girls campus, meaning no boys, which causes a relief to Mallory, after having to put up with boys for a long time and etc. And the teachers there are real nice, and like it if you would call them by their first name, And Mallory also recieves a cool prefect and a new roomate by the name of Alexis. (so far so good. Im liking Riverbend already)

While Mallory is off having the time of her life at Riverbend School, things become quite hectic at the Pike House. For the Pike kids want to keep the room where Mallory was staying at, But Vanessa wouldnt let them, claiming that she's finally gotten a room all to herself and she not letting no one have it( Apparently Mallory, you must have driven Vanessa crazy with all your whining and complaining, so that's probably why she's acting like such a nut that she is, though i still like Vanessa though.)

The Bsc are basically left wondering what they are going to do about this situation. And if Mallory's choice to leave Riverbend was a good one or a really stupid bad one. What do you think guys?

Mallory then meets her roomate Alexis, and Mallory already becomes awed by Alexis's outlook appearance. Here is what Alexis looks like:

1. Spiky Blonde hair

2. Black combat boots

3. Black clothing

4. Pierced earrings and eyes, as well as a belly button

5.orange lipstick

somebody apparently likes dressing up in black all the time and is pulling off that Gothic/Grunge/ Punk look. Really cool look. I like it.

But Alexis is like a Gothic, blonde, 6th grade version of Kristy Thomas, as she tends to act bossy and so controlling all the time. And she does that by yelling at Mallory and boss her around, etc. Then Alexis gives Mallory a list of directions and tells her stuff to do and etc. (Boy does Alexis reminds me of a drill sergeant when she gives orders like that.) During that time Mallory apologizes to Kristy for ever considering her bossy, because apparently Alexis took the word bossy to a whole new level( and I mean level). Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Im laughing my ass off over this already.

Then Mallory makes some new friends by the name of smita, sarah, and jen. And Sarah Bernhart is named after the famous actress Sarah Bernhart, who lived in the 1800's. And Mallory is having a good time in her classes too.

When Mallory goes back to her dorm, she finds Alexis reading in her private journal and now vows to stay away from Alexis as much as possible. But it becomes impossible as ever when Alexis follows her around and gives her a hard time and basically becomes a stalker, just like Honey Perkins from Fear Street: The Best Friend. And man does Alexis remind me so much of Honey.

Definitely major creepy.
Meanwhile, Things continue to become hectic at the Pike place, as Stacey and Kristy babysits for the Pike gang, only to find that their troubles is just now beginning. For Adam and Jordan Pike, two of the triplets, want to move away from Nicky because they can't stand his ass, while Byron looks away in embarrassment( Pretty harsh don't you think triplets. I mean gheesh, i know Nicky can be a pain and he hates girls and all, but don't you think that's going a bit too far. I mean he is your brother for crying out loud.)

Then Margo and Claire want the room because the boys are always sticking together , so the girls should do the same, which i thought was really sweet of Margo and Claire, considering that they're young and all. Then Vanessa claims the room to herself because she hates sharing and she never had a room of her own before in her life. Pretty bold for a shy 9 year old poet like Vanessa Pike.

Meanwhile, Things between Mallory and Alexis becomes much more tense, as Mallory confronts Alexis about reading her diary , and Alexis becomes even more of a bitch than she was the last time. She does this by criticizing Mallory's friends, Giving Mallory's life a living hell, and giving Mallory a hard time. Word of advice Mallory, never fuck with people like that, cause otherwise your life will never be the same again. Or you could wake up dead. Creepy indeed.

And Alexis takes the whole meaning of stalker to a whole new level.She does this by borrowing Mallory's outfit, reads stuff and says things about Mallory's private thoughts outside of the classroom, and then starts copying off of Mallory Pike.(This girl defenitely reminds me of Honey Perkins all the way. Man, her and Honey perkins can be sisters. They sure do act alike. A lot alike.)

And the poor girl doesnt even have any friends, as most people are already afraid of her ass and basically hide whenever they come near Alexis in the hallways. The girl has also had two roomates too.
1. Amy Broderick was Alexis's first roomate and tried being friends with Alexis while also struggling with school, but leaves due to Alexis's cruel nature and also losing the death of a loved one at her home.
2. Jen Border, is still around the school and was Alexis's second roomate but later moves into a single dorm after Alexis once again gives the girl a hard time, and jen basically ignores alexis and gives her the silent treatment.
In other words, Alexis is impossible to get along with. Even worse than Kristy. Much, Much, Worse.

Things finally become better in the Pike household, When Abby and Claudia come up with a plan to get the Pike kids settled once and for all. The Pike family eventually settle it out with Vanessa, Claire, and Margo would share a room where the triplets used to stay, along with Mallory's old stuff. Byron and Nicky will share a room together in Margo and Claire's old room( causing Adam and Jordan to become shocked, and Nicky practically beaming at Byron.) And Adam and Jordan will share Vanessa and Mallory's old room and seem quite thrilled about it. Basically that's the end of the Pike wars for now.

Alexis though, really needs to get help, as Alexis ruins Mallory's care package, and then draw evil faces on all of Mallory's friends, and basically gives Mallory a nightmare she will never forget. Mallory you better leave now while you still have a chance. Otherwise that bitch will end up killing your ass while your asleep or while your alone at the dorm. Watch out for bitches like Alexis.)

But things finally become better for Mallory when Mallory goes to the dean to talk about her problems with Alexis, and the dean offers Alexis a room to herself in Jen's old dorm, while Jen rooms in with Mallory and basically start off to a good level as friends.
And that's the end of the book for now.
But man does Alexis take the meaning Bitch to a whole new level.
Really takes it to the next level.